The masks that we put on everyday when we stepped into the world. But what if it's even worse than that? Do you think you can take off that mask of perfection among your friends? Could you just be weak in front of your family members? Your wife or husband? Or are you wearing that masks of confidence, certainty, cheerful and happy go lucky where ever you go to and whoever you are with?
Because most of us have made that masks a part of us.
"After a certain age, we put on a mask of confidence and certainty. In time, that mask gets stuck to our face and we can't remove it." - Paulo Coelho, in his book, Adultery -
Don't get me wrong...it's perfectly fine for you to look happy and confident. After all, who likes to mingle with negative energy?
But has social pressure makes you do things that you didn't want to....makes you feel things that you aren't feeling...and makes you push aside your ownself, to become someone expected of you?
I recall talking to a friend, who is struggling in overcoming his failed relationship of about 10 years ago. And everyone surrounding him was telling him that he has to move on. Because life is more than just a relationship that doesn't work.
And yes, move on he did...but there was a time when I was drinking with him, where he shared that despite how rosy things have been, there is a certain emptiness within because of that. But the mask of happiness will go with him for the rest of his life I suppose because that's what's expected of him by those close to him.
I remembered watching the best Batman movies ever, by Christian Bale, and in the last of the trilogy in Batman: The Dark Knight Rises.
There was a scene where John Blake met with Bruce Wayne, and said this:
Not a lot of people know what it feels like to be angry, in your bones. I mean, they understand, foster parents, everybody understands, for awhile. Then they want the angry little kid to do something he knows he can't do, move on. So after awhile they stop understanding. They send the angry kid to a boys home. I figured it out too late. You gotta learn to hide the anger, practice smiling in the mirror. It's like putting on a mask.
While it is normal that people around us want us to be happy, but what is happy if it's merely showing others that you are happy. Today's social media is creating an even higher expectations...imagine opening up your Facebook and Instagram, seeing happy couples, happy vacations, awesome bodybuilding experience, superb party and drinking sessions...but how many people know how tough and difficult things really are?
A happy couple may have to go through difficult times of understanding one another, hours of arguments, struggling with each others' weaknesses and even issues such as adultery, lies and many others....Vacations...how about the many months of savings for that awesome trip? And really gym is not fun at all because it's painful...it takes discipline...it takes a lot of hardwork. And partying and drinking? What about the hangover?
The surface doesn't tell the whole picture. A picture doesn't speak a thousand words, because behind every smile, there is a story within....the unspoken pain, the untold tears and sweats. There is nothing wrong about sharing the goodness in life, but we have to be real...if you are tired and weary, it is perfectly normal to be weak...if the journey is too rough and tiring, it is normal to take a break and feel painful, because that's what make us human. Life shouldn't be about being happy alone.
"I haven't the slightest interest in being happy. I prefer to live life passionately, which is dangerous because you never know what might happen next."
-Paulo Coelho, Adultery-
Behind every smile there is a story you wouldn't believe. I like your thoughts Billy..i share your views. Frankly i think melancholy is not respected enough...the greats lie Keith and Byron embraced their melancholy and let it feed their soul and our pages.
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